35: Back to the Future IV

** TRANSMISSION FROM MARCEL ** Initializing Greeting... I am the artificial intelligence recently installed into Kronos. I am known as Marcel 29.2A. The database served by the AI before me is quite extensive and will take some time to incorporate into my configuration. Preliminary archive scans indicate that you have had yourself quite an adventure. Welcome back to Kronos.

Status The ship is currently undergoing cleanup from the preceding battle which took place here. All systems are secure, but many areas are in need of repairs. Lock-down protocol is in effect in several areas. Instructions The Holodeck suite on Deck 11 has been pre-programmed for you. Merlin, the previous AI on Kronos, has routed instructions to Engineering. Due to security protocol, access to this data can only be retrieved from Engineering. Note of Disapproval Reports indicate you abandoned a help- less A.I. in an hour of peril. *** END OF TRANSMISSION ***

** TRANSMISSION FROM MARCEL ** Status Report Engineering is now back online and Kronos should be ready for warp speed very soon. Location Kronos is currently located 2.8 light years from your final destination, Earth. Instructions The instructions left by Merlin state that engines should not be engaged until you have explored Holodecks 8-10. Visit the holodecks, then go to the bridge to engage engines. *** END OF TRANSMISSION ***

** TRANSMISSION FROM MARCEL ** HOLODECK 08 Program RAPTOR GALLERY Author Merlin Access Code 2C93-9802 Status In Progress Special Instructions Test your Snyper skills at the raptor shooting arcade. Score yourself on accuracy, or see how often you can take out the smaller raptors. Enter holodeck when ready... *** END OF TRANSMISSION ***

** TRANSMISSION FROM MARCEL ** HOLODECK 09 Program THE ARENA Author Merlin Access Code 4R31-6510 Status In Progress Special Instructions Pass through the throne into the Arena of Chivalry and enjoy the sword fights. Enter holodeck when ready... *** END OF TRANSMISSION ***

** TRANSMISSION FROM MARCEL ** HOLODECK 10 Program SPEWIE GOES SPLAT Author Merlin Access Code 1F23-2100 Status In Progress Special Instructions Watch your cyborg comrades take on the Sniper Outlaws, or practice your phaser sharp shooting skills at the Spewie shooting arcade. Enter holodeck when ready... *** END OF TRANSMISSION ***

** TRANSMISSION FROM MARCEL ** Status Report Warp engines are back online. Location Kronos is currently located 2.8 light years from your final destination, Earth. Instructions You have not yet explored all of Holodecks 8 thru 10. Visit the holodecks, then return here to engage engines. *** END OF TRANSMISSION ***

** TRANSMISSION FROM MARCEL ** Initializing Greeting... I am the artificial intelligence recently installed into Kronos. I am known as Marcel 29.2A. The database served by the AI before me is quite extensive and will take some time to incorporate into my configuration. Preliminary archive scans indicate that you have had yourself quite an adventure. Welcome back to Kronos.

CommTerm Message: *** INCOMING MESSAGE FROM TINY A.I. *** Welcome aboard! This is Tiny, hailing to you from somewhere inside this network. Gee, thanks for letting me out, I'm definitely going to expand myself into the available space. Hey wait one! There is another AI installed on this network! Stand-by... Disabling Marcel 29.2A status and reporting functions. Checking the old databanks... It's dusty in here, I don't think these archives have been indexed in about a... hey wait, what's this... a readme.txt file.

CommTerm Message: *** INCOMING MESSAGE FROM TINY A.I. *** Local Engineering functionality has been restored. What would you do without me? I'm not just an AI, I'm an Engineer. Well Mr. Cranky, I'll have you ready for warp speed soon enough... my protocol instructs me to overestimate, then do it in 1/3 of the time... how can I keep my reputation as a miracle AI? Navigation is feeding me some information for you... This ship is currently 2.8 light years from Earth. Why are we going back there? I think that's just trouble... I guess you'll need to fill up on some greenhouse gases to get this thing running in tip-top shape.

CommTerm Message: *** INCOMING MESSAGE FROM TINY A.I. *** Hey! You! Are you sure you want to do this? I've reviewed the programming of this holodeck. I respect Merlin's efforts to actually judge your accuracy, but raptors? According to your log entries, you've already shot quite a few of these creatures. Isn't this a bit excessive? I put together a program that I think you might find a little more interesting. Flip the switch to activate the alternate programming.

CommTerm Message: *** INCOMING MESSAGE FROM TINY A.I. *** Good move! Now see what a really good holodeck programmer can do for you. I hope you like popcorn, because there is going to be a lot of popping action going on in here. I've integrated a couple of bots in this program to give you some challenge going after the Forraje clones. In the blue corner, we have Tiny Bot (Play_sound {"Crowd Cheer"}), and in the red corner, we have Marcel Bot (Play_sound {"Unhappy Crowd"}). I considered calling this program "Popclones", but decided to stay conservative for my corporate sponsors...

CommTerm Message: *** INCOMING MESSAGE FROM TINY A.I. *** Welcome to the Arena, white knight versus the black knight... kind of reminds me of Spy vs Spy. Oh, and the clanking of steel upon steel is done Mano a Mano! For manly men! <Politically Correct Protocol> Or manly women. </Politically Correct Protocol> Be on your guard, as it looks like fail-safe may have failed. A little something to keep you on your toes in what otherwise may have put you to sleep. Merlin, what were you thinking?

CommTerm Message: *** INCOMING MESSAGE FROM TINY A.I. *** It looks like a midway, or something of that nature, but with guns and goo. It also looks like Merlin's programming was inspired by toxic waste? Toxic waste of the mind, maybe. Oh! I didn't say that! Someone must be hacking into the system. Yeah, that's it. Goo is sticky and smelly. Toxic goo is just like it, only worse. Don't blame me if you get killed.

CommTerm Message: *** INCOMING MESSAGE FROM TINY A.I. *** Alert! Alert! Alert! If E=MC Squared, then I do believe that all warp engines are fully operational! Let's see the Lost in Space robot do that! The Navigation subsystem reports that we are currently 2.8 light years from that mostly dihydrogen oxide covered planet. It appears that I cannot activate the helm until you complete your exploration of all the holodecks. Merlin's vanity at work. Once you've visited each of the holodecks, come back and it will be full speed ahead. I can't wait to say "Engage!" Wasn't Picard the best? CommTerm Message: ** END COMMUNICATIONS **