terminal 0
unfinished
NEFX - Appous.txt ? As such a journeyor can then be lead to contemplate the many states of such obliteration such as they may come to reflexively despise, so that this is transmogrified into a sort of joyful reverence that may likewise from the outside appear as depraved hate to the uninitiated; and they may come to seek and probe the nature of that which is obscure or which obscures, and the nature of the linkage of the two. ? They may embody a conscious and deliberate role in the feeding of this greater force both in this mode of sacrifice and in their regular means of conduct, which paradoxically also further inoculates them against the damaging effects of said force; and to such end they may deliberately beckon or summon this greater force's embodiments and composite parts, such as may represent an ideal form, like an eidolon. ? Thus they conceive of their own current manifestation and terrestrial means, in all their composite parts and according ways, as gladly being means to a greater end, an existing latent offering and sacrifice to be self-realized. ? Yet paradoxically to achieve such power is in part to acknowledge one's ultimate lack of power in the face of the universal principles which grant them, to acknowledge one's status as neophyte in the face of the ultimate and all the obliteration and desiccation it brings the known world of individual and collective alike. ? Many manifestations of the ultimate may reveal themselves in the clear displays of obliteration, especially of that which is known and taken for granted as real yet which by circumstance may crumble into ultimate insignificance in the face or shadow of stronger forces; and yet while this may seem despairing, it actually may hold within it signs of an ultimate freeing. ? Such practices may steel journeyor to the foulest of coming conditions which (they then recognize) allow for the removal of the superfluous that a higher state may be reached, recognizing their whole current status as both haver and had and their status of haver as warranting as a form of debt their status (both currently and as is to come more concretely via obliteration) as had, all as part of a great continuity. ? One of the forms these manifestations may take is in the conception and crafting, and in particular the rites of conception and crafting, of expression, language, and even organic life mechanisms, each so powerful as to destroy -- starting from a state of deep contemplation, proceeding to seize upon or choke a thing either concrete or conceptual, then to rise, then to control, then to eliminate or obliterate. ? All of this may be in an attempt to steelily beckon even morbid revelation, as if with the sensing apparati of an esoteric creature; but it may not necessarily be possible or real for the journeyor without pre-existing knowledge of the nature of the power of the force being invoked. ? These journeyors may come to recognize their own present state of being as being likewise comprised of parts, such as in a trinity, and may commit rites in sequestered places and times as part of a long-term effort to not merely transcend a present state of being but to obliterate more present and limited states of being, and to gain a vision penetrating veils of obscurity even beyond that which is the more immediately obscure or known to be unknown. ? The journeyor may come to render a concrete and intimate example of their mortal nature into a form of rite or expression, an instrument, that they may further beckon the nature and forces of those powers so-far beyond their means and thereby further fix their whole consciousness and remembrance upon them, as if to absorb their "wisdom".