OUR MOST HONORABLE SUPREME LEADER HAS CHOSEN TO EMBARK ON A MISSION TO CREATE AN INVALUABLE TOOL TO TRAIN OUR BRAVE NORTH KOREAN SOLDIERS FOR THE IMPENDING DEEP SPACE PERSONAL ROCKET LAUNCHER WAR. THIS SIMULATION WAS CREATED WILLINGLY AND WITHOUT ANY VIOLENCE OR COERCION USING THE GREATEST SOFTWARE POSSIBLE (THE CHOSEN SOFTWARE "PFHORTE") BY THE GREAT ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS "DADDY Z3RO". IT WOULD SEEM THAT YOU DID NOT COMPLETE YOUR OBJECTIVE. THIS IS UNFORTUNATE. YOU CAN STILL GO BACK AND BE A TRIUMPHANT HERO TO OUR GLORIOUS KINGDOM. GLORY TO YOU, SOLDIER, AND GLORY TO THE ONE TRUE KOREA
EXCELLENT WORK, SOLDIER YOU HAVE COMPLETED THE SIMULATION ADEQUATELY AND BROUGHT HONOR AND GLORY TO OUR BEAUTIFUL KINGDOM. YOU HAVE LABORED HARD AND DEMONSTRATED GREAT TENACITY. WE THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE. MESSAGE TO THE UNITED STATES STATE DEPARTMENT PLEASE CEASE YOUR INVESTIGATIONS INTO THE LOCATION AND SAFETY OF "DADDY Z3RO" AKA "CKT1138". HE IS HAPPY AND UNHARMED AND DOES NOT WISH TO RETURN TO YOUR CAPITALIST DYSTOPIA. WE PROMISE... ...UNLESS...
We encourage you to enjoy the beautiful, energizing, and melodious sounds of our beloved eternal leader Kim Jong-Il's legendary 1987 solo album, Pyongyang Summer. Pyongyang Summer was recorded one year after the calm, amiable, and non-violent breakup of Kim Jong-Il's previous band, which resulted in the saddening and completely mysterious disappearance of his three bandmates. The album, reissued with state approval through Red Star Recordings, is available now, remastered and expanded. Featuring 14 eternal classics, this is an album you will cherish for a lifetime, regardless of language, nationality, or culture. This album represents a departure from the traditional North Korean sound, and instead offers a more modern new wave/synthpop sound.
Kim Jong-Il's newest album, released through Red Star Recordings, is a breezy and beautiful voyage into the moods and thoughts of the glorious eternal leader, and a perfect way to celebrate the summer. Track one, "My Home, My Country", is an anthem of love and devotion to the motherland, with a catchy synthpop melody that will stay in your head long after it's over. "Song of the Generalissimo", is a grand and stirring ballad that celebrates the Kim Dynasty, with an earworm chorus. But it's not all patriotic anthems and soaring ballads on Pyongyang Summer. "I Love You, Comrade" is a sweet and sentimental love song, while "Let's Dance Together" is an upbeat dance track that is sure to get your feet moving. This album will please any fan of synthpop, new wave, or just good music in general.
BASSIST WANTED Our bassist left our band while we were about to hit the road for a tour, super annoying, right? We technically don't need them because we are all bassists but we really like the symmetry, ya dig? REQUIREMENTS -Must be able to play bass -Must be able to meet deadlines and show up to sessions and gigs -Preferably don't be a whiny bitch -Must be a big fan of Plutonia. Last one was, and someone has to. Also, bring as many XLR and TS cables you can, and be prepared to provide a few taped songs for our album, because they sort of took most of that shit when they left in a huff. 1 (555) 455 8008
so I been thinking, and I realized that I been getting ripped off my whole life when it comes to tire shine. Like, I'll go to the gas station and buy a can of tire shine for like, $5, and then I'll use it once and it's gone. And I'm like, what the hell? I'm paying $5 for one can of tire shine? That's bullshit. I'm not made of money. I'm sick and tired of being taken advantage of, and I'm not gonna take it anymore. From now on, I'm only gonna buy tire shine in bulk. I'm gonna get like, 10 cans of tire shine for $50, and I'm gonna use it until it's gone. And I don't care if it takes me a year to use it all up. I'm not gonna be ripped off anymore.
I've had it with tire shine. I'm done. I'm done with being taken advantage of. I'm done with spending my hard-earned money on something that only lasts for one use. I'm done with being exploited. Tire shine, you can suck my dick, and don't get me started on the dumb boomer pieces of shit that use tire shine religiously, man, they're the worst, they're probably the reason tire shine is so expensive in the first place. Fuck tire shine, I swear, it doesn't even do anything! And who even gives a fuck about shiny tires? WHO?! I swear, it's just a waste of money.
And I'm not the only one who thinks so, there's plenty of people out there who feel the same way I do. So to all the tire shine companies out there, I say screw you, we're not gonna take it anymore, we're not gonna be ripped off anymore. We're done. We're done with your bullshit, and it tastes awful! It tastes fucking nasty, and it's not even good for your tires! fdjkfdsjklfdsjkldfjskldfjsdlkfjskldfjskldfjskldfjsdlkfjskldfjskldfjsdlkjfsdlkjfskldfjskldfjsdkljfskldfjsdlkfjskldfjskldfjsdkljfskldfjsdkljfskldfjsdkljfskl fjsdkljfskldjfskl fjsdkljfskldfjskl fjsdkljfskldfjsdkl fjsdkljfskldfjsdkl fjsdkljfsk, YEAH, THAT'S IT, THAT's HOW YOU DO IT! YOU TELL 'EM! YOU FUCKING TELL 'EM!
screw tire shine, screw the gas station, and fuck the boomer generation! We're taking our tire shine business elsewhere, and you're not gonna stop us! FIRST TIRE SHINELESS GENERATION HERE WE COME LET'S GO! YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, WE'RE GONNA DO IT! WE'RE GONNA BE THE FIRST GENERATION TO NOT USE TIRE SHINE, AND WE'RE GONNA BE BETTER FOR IT! FUCK YEAH! TIRE SHINE IS DEAD! LONG LIVE TIRE SHINELESSNESS! FUCK YEAH! I WANNA BLOW UP EVERY CAN OF TIRE SHINE, EVERY TIRE SHINE FACTORY, ALL OF EM! EVERY ONE, YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT! TIRE SHINE IS DONE! D-E-A-D, DEAD! FUCKING DEAD! LONG LIVE TIRE SHINELESSNESS! TIRE SHINE IS GONNA BE A THING OF THE PAST! WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT HAPPEN! TIRE SHINELESSNESS FOR LIFE! FUCK YEAH!" YEE HAW MUHTHAFUCKA YEAH!!!!!!Think of how much BETTER everything will be! No more ruined clothes, no more nasty chemicals, and no more wasted money! FUCK YEAH! WE'RE GONNA DO IT! TIRE SHINELESSNESS
FOR LIFE!" I'm going to call my local representative and I'm gonna get a bill passed to outlaw tire shine! Yeah, that's right, fucking outlaw it! It's a public health hazard and it's not doing anything but making people's lives worse! Let's get this shit done! Tire Shinelessness for life! And to my dad: FUck you, man, I don't need your help, I can do it on my own! I don't need your money, or your approval, or your anything! I'm doing this on my own, and I'm gonna make it happen! Tire Shinelessness for life! Fuck. You. All.
interlevel teleports
