Your mission here is seemingly simple: kill all enemies. And I do mean all. This is no typical KTA mission, though: 1. Your only weapons are your bare fists 2. All your enemies spawn out of bounds… 3. …and they’re troopers, compilers, and juggernauts This in turn poses two major issues beyond the sheer difficulty of the combat. Issue the first is that, as you may have noticed, compilers and juggernauts can, in fact, fly. You therefore must exercise some planning to ensure you don’t soft lock – which can happen. There are ways to make this far less likely, but don’t expect me to give away all our secrets here.
Issue the second is, of course, that juggernaut explosions do anywhere from 350 to 400 damage (for reference, 2x health = 300 and 3x = 450; you can survive with 0 shields, but anything below that will kill you). You’ll be given several 3x health canisters, but the number is finite. Don’t use them up too quickly, because odds are you’ll need at least a couple to defeat the last juggernaut without dying. When all your foes are dead, maybe I’ll teleport you out. If you survive. (Credit/blame cassis as you like for the out-of-bounds enemy spawns – I yoinked the idea from their map “Small Hurtful Rooms”.) Toodles, Aaron
Well, you did it. That wasn’t very hard was it? No? Well, then the next time, I’ll just have to make it harder. Thus, you can look forward to “e from Wisconsin. It had orange FRAGILE stickers all over it, its” with added Enforcers in Hellpak Vol. 2: An Exercise in Questionable Taste, hopefully coming out in 2023-2024 (but given that I’m the one saying this, it’s probably more like 2027).
In all seriousness (and, since I realise it sounds like a joke, I’m 100% serious about Hellpak Vol. 2, its subtitle, and this map’s inevitable sequel): Thanks for playing, and congrats for making it through this whole thing. You’re getting this specific message because you played through and cleared every level of this batshit insane pack on Total Carnage. We actually took the liberty of tracking your difficulty throughout your gameplay. Only people that cleared all of Hellpak Vol. 1 on TC get this message, which represents the “true ending”.
On behalf of everyone who worked on Hellpak, I sincerely hope you… enjoyed yourself might be a bit optimistic, but I hope this wasn’t too excruciating an experience. Only the truly dedicated, masochistic, and/or insane would get through every level of this pack on Total Carnage, and you deserve some sort of recongition as one or more of the above. If you like, you can next make vid films of the pack and send them to me to be immortalised on my channel. The first person insane enough to vid the whole pack gets a prize! (Narrator, voiced by an uncredited Ron Howard: No one was insane enough.)
I’d like to take this opportunity to plug my other favourite scenarios: my S tier is Tempus Irae, Rubicon, Apotheosis, Eternal, and Phoenix. My contributing in some way to current or forthcoming versions of all of those but Rubicon is in no way related to my listing them here; I’d have listed them either way. (Narrator: This was true.) My A tier is Blauwe Vingers, Gemini Station, Pfh’Joueur, Megiddo Game, Missed Island, Return to Marathon (which would make the S tier if it were only longer), and Yuge. I’m sure several of the above have influenced my mapmaking, though it might not be obvious in Hellpak. Where Monsters Are in Dreams will blow your mind when we release it in 2024 (Narrator: 2032), and Marathon Chronicles when it’s finished in 2028 (Narrator: 2042).
Anyway, here’s hoping it stops snowing so badly – this is an actual view outside my window as I write this. (Narrator: This was not the actual view outside Aaron’s actual window.) Thanks again for playing, and we hope to see you in Hellpak 2: The Quest for More Money… sorry, An Exercise in Questionable Taste. PS. If you experience any anomalies, I suggest looking at the map using the editors Weland and Atque. If you need help setting these up, there's a guide to mapping on r/marathon. Aaron Sarasota, Florida September 27, 2022
Well, you did it. That wasn’t very hard was it? No? Well, then the next time, I’ll just have to make it harder. Thus, you can look forward to “e from Wisconsin. It had orange FRAGILE stickers all over it, its” with added Enforcers in Hellpak Vol. 2: An Exercise in Questionable Taste, hopefully coming out in 2024 (but given that I’m the one saying this, it’s probably more like 2027).
In all seriousness (and, since I realise it sounds like a joke, I’m 100% serious about Hellpak Vol. 2, its subtitle, and this map’s inevitable sequel): Thanks for playing, and congrats for making it through this whole thing. It’s pretty cool that you cleared all of the game, but you still have a way to go to get Hellpak’s “true ending”: you have to clear the whole thing on Total Carnage next time. We took the liberty of tracking your difficulty setting throughout your gameplay, you see; at least some of the time, you had it set to a lower difficulty setting.
On behalf of everyone who worked on Hellpak, I sincerely hope you… enjoyed yourself might be a bit optimistic, but I hope this was a fun enough experience for you to feel like punishing yourself by replaying the whole thing on Total Carnage. We’re unable to allocate more budget until you do so, you see, but once you do, we’ll be able to provide the true ending as free DLC. (Narrator, voiced by an uncredited Ron Howard: This was true, in a sense.)
I’d like to take this opportunity to plug my other favourite scenarios: my S tier is Tempus Irae, Rubicon, Apotheosis, Eternal, and Phoenix. My contributing in some way to current or forthcoming versions of all of those but Rubicon is in no way related to my listing them here; I’d have listed them either way. (Narrator: This was also true.) My A tier is Blauwe Vingers, Gemini Station, Pfh’Joueur, Megiddo Game, Missed Island, Return to Marathon (which would make the S tier if it were only longer), and Yuge. I’m sure several of the above have influenced my mapmaking, though it might not be obvious in Hellpak. Where Monsters Are in Dreams will blow your mind when we release it in 2024 (Narrator: 2032), and Marathon Chronicles when it’s finished in 2028 (Narrator: 2042).
Anyway, here’s hoping it stops snowing so badly – this is an actual view outside my window as I write this. (Narrator: This was not the actual view outside Aaron’s actual window.) Thanks again for playing, and we hope to see you in Hellpak 2: The Quest for More Money… sorry, An Exercise in Questionable Taste. Aaron Sarasota, Florida September 27, 2022
Well, you did it. That wasn’t very hard was it? No? Well, then the next time, I’ll just have to make it harder. Thus, you can look forward to “e from Wisconsin. It had orange FRAGILE stickers all over it, its” with added Enforcers in Hellpak Vol. 2: An Exercise in Questionable Taste, hopefully coming out in 2023-2024 (but given that I’m the one saying this, it’s probably more like 2027).
In all seriousness (and, since I realise it sounds like a joke, I’m 100% serious about Hellpak Vol. 2, its subtitle, and this map’s inevitable sequel): Thanks for playing, and congrats for clearing this level on Total Carnage, but you can’t seriously be expecting to get the true ending of the game for just clearing one or two levels, can you? Come back when you’ve played the whole thing.
No, seriously come back when you’ve played the whole thing. We’re giving you an opportunity right now! But make sure you livestream it and save the VOD if you really want the good ending. Aaron Sarasota, Florida September 27, 2022
Well, you did it. That wasn’t very hard was it? No? Well that’s probably ’cause you’re not playing on Total Carnage. I mean, nice job beating this level; it’s probably tough even on lower difficulties. But you can’t seriously think you’re gonna get the good ending for beating just one or two levels on a subpar difficulty, can you? Go quit the game and start over on Total Carnage. Then we’ll talk. (No teleport, because you actually have to start the game on Total Carnage and play on it all the way through to get the best ending.) Aaron Sarasota, Florida September 27, 2022
Cheaters never prosper, unless they’re that one Minecraft speedrunner. You know the one… Look, I appreciate the resourcefulness involved in cheating to “clear” all 30 levels, but next time, do try to make your ending time believable, please. And play on Total Carnage or you won’t get the good ending.
