Excellent job, Soldier! When you get back, they'll be handing out metals by the barrel! Unfortunately, as you're well aware, no one can ever know what you've done. If the world ever discovered with any certainty that Osama bin Laden was killed, fifty others would rise in his place. No, it's better we just leave this one a mystery. So, as such, the success of this mission is strictly classified. I'm proud to say you're an American hero, Soldier... and I'm sad to say, no one will ever know about it. So much for the days of ticker-tape parades, I guess. Regardless, make no bones about it. Because of your courage, the world is now a safer place.
I now hereby order you to get yourself a little R&R, but don't celebrate too long... it appears as though our work has only begun. Though Afghanistan has been secured, the rest of the world is seething with thousands of terrorists, each capable of committing far worse atrocities than those we saw through tear-filled eyes on September 11. What I'm getting at is, you've been reassigned. Pack your bags, Soldier. Looks like this war's just getting started...
Greetings, Soldier... We've pin-pointed Osama bin Laden's location as being in a nearby cave complex known as Tora Bora. The area is extremely hostile. Your mission is to lead you unit into the southern entrance of Tora Bora, locate bin Laden and take him down. Easier said than done, I admit. Normally, we would just level that mountainous shit-hole via air strikes, but nothing short of nukes will do the job and ensure the elimination of all remaining terrorist forces hiding out in Tora Bora... and to be straightforward with you, don't think we haven't thought about it. The nuclear solution was considered and rejected in light of world opinion potentially turning on us as would no doubt be the result. As such, our only option is direct infiltration by way of ground assault.
Something else to note while we're wrapping up Operation Anaconda... We've recently realized the packets of food rations we've been dropping are strikingly similar in appearance to that of undetonated cluster bomb shells. Stay nourished, but just make sure the next food packet you pick up isn't three seconds away from blowing your face off. Unexploded cluster bomb shells are extremely volatile and can detonate with even the slightest disturbance.
In the event you encounter Osama bin Laden, eliminate him with extreme prejudice. That means empty everything you've got into him. It's likely he's weak and malnourished, but just as likely that he's armed to the teeth, making him one tough son of a bitch. I'm not gonna lie to you, Soldier. The chances of survival in this mission are estimated at approximately a hundred to one, so if you have anything you need to convey to family or friends back home, you best upload it now. I'll make sure it gets where it needs to go.
I just want to say, since the very day I decided to take you under my wing at that West Point shooting range so many years ago, I've known you to be nothing short of a true American, an excellent soldier... and what's more, a damn good friend. Now go kick some butt and come home alive. Good hunting, Soldier.
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