0: Where Zippo Users Fear To Tread

terminal 0


CyndeeTerm™ Activated

Hi there! I'm Cyndee, your ever-friendly rampant (and exceptionally good-looking!) AI! The transfer might have muddled your memories a slight bit, so let me fill you in on your current status.

This is the UESC E Pluribus Unum. It might bear a striking resemblance to something from an old Two-Dee holovid, but it's not. Really. Anyway, you're aboard it. At least, your body is. Your mind is currently a mass of free-floating electrons inside my own circuitry. The room you think you're in is a mental representation of your location in my mainframe.

I've established a link between my systems and the 20th century network called the "Internet." Don't ask how I did this, as your puny little brain would collapse on itself if I tried to explain the amazingly brilliant method I came up with. And it's too big a plot hole. So you just be quiet.

Your mission, and you don't have a choice about accepting it, is to destroy a fellow AI that somehow exists in the 20th Century. This AI has gone by many names in the decades of its existance. Canter_and_Siegel, John_-_Winston, Pirate (Master of WaReZ), and most recently.....


It's the AI's current incarnation that worries me the most. The mentality of a 9 year old, trapped inside the shell of a 14 year old. No one existing in this time period was ever able to track this elusive (and abusive) AI. I'm hoping you can alter history and keep this twerp from doing any more harm.

Once you open the door, "you" will be inside the trans-spatial Ethernet wire I established 'tween me and someplace called Iowa State University. You will be shunted into something called a Power Macintosh, and from there you will seek and destroy Shaman. Shaman has noticed the trans-spatial connection, and in his childlike determination to destroy, he has sent virus programs, which your mind will interpret as characters from some old video game, against you. Until they are all destroyed, you will be unable to make the transition into the Internet. Remember, if your mind dies, your body will be a mindless husk, and will remain a drooling husk until I jettison it out a nearby airlock. So be careful, and think happy thoughts! I'll try to give you anti-virus patches as you go. Grab 'em, and corrupt some code. Good luck.

CindyTerm™ Off

terminal 1


CyndeeTerm™ Activated

I can't let you through until you eliminate ALL the viruses. Go back and make sure you didn't miss any. And keep thinking happy thoughts!

CyndeeTerm™ Off


CyndeeTerm™ On

Okay, prepare to be thrown into the realm of Chaos, "Me Too!"ers, warezers, Make.Money.Fast!ers, netsexers,and the Bastard Operator From Hell. And may Durandal have pity on your soul.

CyndeeTerm™ Off