0: Los Disneys

BRIEFING: Your mission is to break into the underground tunnels of the Walt Disney World Magic Kingdom and make your way to the TOP SECRET Underground Cryogenic Facility which houses the cryonically suspended head and torso of the late Walt Disney. President Michael Eisner has been secretly working with his underground staff to perfect the genetic cloning process- and based on satellite and inside intelligence photos, it looks as though he might just pull it off. All of these efforts are centered around reviving the body of Walt Disney and resurrecting him as the next anti-Christ in an attempt to take over the world. Sounds ridiculous? I assure you, this is no joke.

Disney's body is encased in a tube reinforced by bullet-proof glass and a titanium frame. The only way to destroy it is to break into the Disney World Mainframe Computer and shut down the cryogenic life-support system. However, we have found that doing so triggers a self-destruct system and, subsequently, the doomsday device; one missile which, when launched, will send out a signal to launch a series of other missiles aimed at the world's most prominent cultural centers. These missiles can not be seen by our satellites as they are hidden beneath the Los Disneys peninsula and its surrounding waters. An unreliable source informed us one of these missiles, perhaps the lead, may actually be located beneath Cinderella's Castle, only a few hundred yards from where you're standing right now.

I'll be monitoring your progress from above and am able to send you messages. As you apparently already know, you can retrieve these messages by inserting your encoded security card into any of the theme park's Automated Information Booths (A.). These are commonly used by tourists, but without the card, they serve as simple park information terminals. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. This is also not a vacation. The security of the world is hinged on your carrying out this mission.

Here’s the big problem: President Eisner never developed a means of disconnecting the two systems- he never intended to. He figured if Disney was going down, the world was going down with him, sick bastard. However, my people have recently developed a kill switch program and are currently working on a means of hacking it into the life-support system. I apologize that it was, for security sake, imperative to send you with minimal weapons and ammo. Because Disney was planning for this, he installed several hidden bunkers throughout and beneath the park which house more than enough weapons and ammo to suit even a maniacal sadist like yourself. Look for hidden switches (B) which will activate secret passages. We suggest you start with the southern side (Go to the end of Main Street, U.S.A. and take a left.). We also strongly recommend you pay close attention to sectional discoloration in walls; any areas that look to be unusually dark or disconnected (C). These sections may be entrances to secret passages. Try to activate them. With any luck you will find the bunker before you get into any serious trouble.

BEGIN TRANSMISSION<<< YOU ARE NOW ENTERING THE NORTHERN EAR: We’ve just received word from the inside that they’re on to us. I’m not surprised, the way you’ve been going about things (You could have been a little more... discrete.). President Eisner (A.) is ready for you. As it turns out, he perfected the biological duplication process months ago and has been successfully cloning himself all along. When he discoved we were attempting to infiltrate the park, he “programmed” his clones to, well, kill you. He is using them to control and monitor the cryogenic facility. Destroy with exteme prejudice- but be carefull. Eisner has filled their bloodstreams with a toxin that, if heavily disturbed, will detonate. Keep a safe distance. Also, if you're having difficulty with those pesky hoverbots, I recommend the fusion pistol. The electrical surge should fry their circuitry. It won't have an instant effect, but it should make the job easier. If you haven't yet found an uplink chip (B.) on any of Eisner's men it is quite possible one of them may have tossed it when they saw you coming. Trace your steps. If it were down to the last second and you were a Disney Scumbag, where would you throw an uplink chip? >>>END TRANSMISSION

BEGIN TRANSMISSION<<< YOU ARE NOW ENTERING THE SOUTHERN EAR: We have just learned that the Mainframe Computer looks much like any other Automated Information Booth. It can be located down a corridor which connects to the Cryogenic Facility. Its door can only be triggered by an uplink disc (A) containing a specially encoded version of the song, “When You Wish Upon A Star.” Once the disk is inserted into the mainframe deck (B), it will automatically play, opening the door to the Mainframe Computer terminal. Sensors have last indicated that the disc can be found underwater, somewhere near the Northern Ear, that is, if you haven’t found it already. >>>END TRANSMISSION

..................................... •MAINFRAME UPLINK WAS SUCCESSFUL. •CRYOGENIC LIFE SUPPORT SYSTEM UNLOCKED. ................................. Proceed to terminate cryonic suspension? WARNING: DEACTIVATING LIFE SUPPORT SYSTEM WILL CAUSE THEME PARK TO SELF- DESTRUCT. INITIATE THE THEME PARK SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE?