terminal 0
unfinished
/!\ EMERGENCY CORRESPONDENCE FROM: /!\ DOCTOR EPSTEIN, PhD. Thank THE LORD that I found you just in time. It appears that with the completion of DOUCHEMAN's douchetower, he has gained access to certain portions of INFINITYS' mainframe, and attempted to depose of you in the Grave Grid once he found out you'd been exposed to the concept of 4GET. Fortunately for you, I caught on to his plan at the last second, and was able to pipe your signal through to the nearby TCBY Lounge and spare you an exceedingly cruel and horrific fate. Unfortunately, DOUCHEMAN's actions took me by surprise, which has led to a major setback: DOUCHEMAN was able to steal all of your collected failstaches. That is a yuge prahblum. To make matters worse, the Emperor T.K. suddenly vanished along with all the other highest-ranking government officials.
No one knows what will come next. It feels as if the very INFINITYS around me is crumbling. Many of those nearby are starting to see the wisdom in THE LORD's message of 4GET. Only a lucky few have managed to do it, however, as DOUCHEMAN tries his hardest to keep everyone on edge. I'm sure you've noticed the exponential increase of DOUCHEaccoutrements invading INFINITYS recently. Others are hesitant to 4GET and are still patiently waiting for Olmec's message to guide them. It is paramount that we find a way to take back Olmec's stolen failstaches from DOUCHEMAN so those waiting patiently can hear his message and be saved. I will endeavor to work out a plan for us, but in the meantime, make your way to the far terminal across the TCBY Lounge so I can get you out of this blocky pigeon hole.
You don't need to look for any failstaches here -- the TCBY Lounge was once filled with plebeians who were considered "below" the rest of the INFINITYS civilians. No wonder it's been almost five years since anyone set foot in here.
