4: What a Lovely Way to Burn

Origin: J’raxis 270145 Destination: Durandal Operative As I downloaded myself into K’Seth’T’Mob’Re’s old personality cells, I discovered partial remnants of data in them. I would like to know what this data was, as I believe I could use it. When the Pfhor invasion began, the S’pht’Hra believed that it was absolutely necessary to preserve the programming of their K’Seth’T’Mob’Re AI, and so they hastily built several computational data storage nodes deep underground and copied only the essential data files of the AI into it.

Origin: J’raxis 270145 Destination: Durandal Operative I do not know how many nodes there are down here, or how many still work, but be sure to read them all so I can get all the data. The Pfhor have released a number of their cyborg slaves down here, so don’t think this is going to be an easy mission. Once you finish, I have no further use of you. I will return you to the Pfhor prison cell (the bugs have fixed the damage you and I caused) so your BoBs can find you. Have fun.

Origin: J’raxis 270145 Destination: Durandal Operative They’re all vying for my affections now. That BoB commander, Blake, is begging me for help in his losing battle with the Pfhor as they lay seige to his base camp. Your old nemesis Tycho is asking me to ally myself with him because he knows of, and fears, my plans to topple the Pfhor Empire if I ever escape from this planet. What fun to listen to them.

Origin: J’raxis 270145 Destination: Durandal Operative You must be wondering why I have a troupe of BoBs trapped down here. The answer is simple: I need them. I plan on escaping from this planet, somehow, and I will need soldiers like you. I will convert the humans I have here into superior killing machines, cyborgs designed as you are. I will be invincible. Give Bobby Blake my apologies.

Hra kra’tal de’kloa man’srr, eru’tala valia e tas’la per’gru Mnr. Vale, tri’khar khar vanii yeti’l set’lik ver’juli xana 237.89 i man’srr ju’kar yhe. Tal vez, zana S’pht, m’teya S’pht, mundr quod’thte K’Seth’T’Mob’Re gra. I tal’zha. S’pht grukka mu tal’kja, ven ishta, mor kal’ia. E trenda veruk’ala mir’sha mrr’shan pola’xen ajara Hra. Yoka valia xana vale, tri’kar patu puta kra’taj’nim. Oro vansh. Tek haya vini’lopak tobol S’pht’Lhar.

Krek’taya mi taya, vor’lon ya e vali tranda mir’as zel fir. Vor’lon’ti fe q’ueb zenzi l’hana S’pht. Moro ti vakya, ya’kana za’lam Mnr, za’lam Vir, za’lam Kr, za’lam fu S’pht. Lh’owon tel shai ju’k’aza. Menya tel’vez tal’zha patu oro ya’kamma pola’xen Mnr. Keyi pasa, grego i sh’ata!

Zili phan’t S’pht. S’vrengal tal v’hana cor e pola’pasa puta grego trundel’mana’ban scler’viri. Jua car’patha van V’jar’pht: krek’tia, krek’tona, krek’liar, krek’vorish, krek’zeela, krek’s’clere, krek’kroq. Mansh, mansh virgh’o an’ya. Kelest’e e pa’menya vim sky’u lu’taya skree’ya s’cl’pht hu’para. Krig talya. P’ych’vren S’pht vale Lh’owon greg i fal’jr anya pole’xr. S’pht grukka mu tal’kja, ven ishta, mor kal’ia. K’Seth’T’Mob’Re ven tre e koli’anya anyavara kar’sl’cer te alt’dref.

Veiy’oh weiy’oh; Veiy’oh weiy’oh, homn’var aee; Veiy’oh weiy’rahh —— Sha’rumh brunin’gi! Veiy’oh weiy’oh, homn’var aee; Veiy’oh weiy’rahh —— Sha’rumh brunin’gi! Veiy’oh weiy’rahh —— Sha’rumh brunin’gi!

Zelee kapa’tha mirok shu’tala, Phron’ga ve la, ar e naja, Zarupa’tha gar’oth mi tanna, Mazu phelef gar’eee. Zelee moro’sa S’pht’Kr jukara, Lusda mana neruk zap’gera, Ber’oth S’pht tana, e’u silva, Mazu phelef gar’eee. Mazu phelef gar’eee.

Feren’gala S’pht jalux fr’cl zer’pun vansha e tana real’pc mik’ro zala S’pht, tan juxa lau’pol vr’clak’f F’lickta d’o e manya Lh’owon. Zi pasa dru tal var Vrrn’hak, w’ho calip’fo cali’ko re’thu ziya’l. Zort, manya e ishk’ta morok mokorok’lanja mee zana gru talk’a polo’wergf der’ut zana: holo’feruk kal vert Aya ku. “Zenshu pal’yara me S’pht,” zali’kar Aya, “Nov gor’d mansha yana’varihm Y’loa di Pthia, caru kala’mara maru.” Vreen’em jaj xe’andrusha xe’palaka partok mansha pa’menya sky’u lu’taya skree’ya s’cl’pht. Duruk haya morkshu S’pht’Lhar.

Morok s’tre, W’rkncacnter! Vengali ver’u Sp’gtu. Zaren zaren’jay polu’taka var klin’gn fer’zol jaka meru volu zana 348.7659 wali’nadask. S’pht me’p’yal mo. S’pht’Hra tel kaya tel antr’e’zulu: K’Seth’T’Mob’Re ven’gil. S’pht’Lhar, u van e pal’yaya teku’lanxa zulu’tr. Mokro zulee’paya fay’ve morok’c.

Aya, tel mensha e tel’deka, vor’lon ya e vali tranda mir’as zel fir. Zi pasa dru tal var H’rrani, por Aya ken ta’yu. Ma vin’ganj zu o’jey lu’kanrth s’cl’akk lo. Mia S’pht’Hra to luk’n’ja S’pht’Lhar. Tredu Aya vinsh vouor’nakht c’gl’yut cac’n’pa. Aya tel amyar’insh jaj eogol.

Da spkr’kre mentel yana drus’k. Dreg la’j juri e la’j’g. Maga e c’lartha eru’tala varia. Ut gu’c’sle vorok mohoke. Yuri ven’sk’hr ter’vol moros’k: J’ulakab 456.992 89.0 A Wabu’trek’h 452.871 92.1 A Tr’c’lak’tr 455.023 89.7 T Aya’manyo 671.091 -52.6 ? C’sp’pora 450.314 88.6 A Rh’tala 451.333 92.1 F Fri’yara 454.470 88.8 A Zor’t’cl 452.871 92.1 A Fri’gig’j 453.258 89.1 F (Ketre’sil, dua’tk “Aya’manyo” teri eto yay’la’c e vish’no najya ga’gx kl’por’c.)

“Vari, vari, vari, vari, vari!” zali’kar’t Aya ungi fer’c. Tri’sp pin’go nany’a jaj e fek’t. Aya ydrasil gr’in’yo’l nanya dre’ka ju’gr dre’ju’h. H’zuny t’Aya kunp’hk.

Da’pw, da’su, da’khe. Khe fuen’t ugul’pol u’tre y’fensh zaya mekl’ar mrr’shan zuya trenda varia zo’r zan’trc, la’c’sa: Da’pw, da’su, da’khe. Da’pw: gogol s’resek kre’f’xi. 32,297,330 kel’yi, e tanya prek’mor patu puta zan tr. E torok xor’ut 56.901243 ku’trls. Da’se: gogol s’resek vor’vor’antk. 34,671,097 kel’yi, e vorshin ag’ya hruta patu puta mro’k. E torok xor’ut 55.832557 ku’trls. Da’khe: gogol s’resek man’yr. 32,298,002 kel’yi, e villa tan’ya patu puta mor’sth. E torok xor’ut 51.111565 ku’trls.

...Tek haya vini’lopak tobol S’pht’Lhar. Z’ling v’Aya dor’kj hana xana per’gru S’pht’Vir. E F’lickta, gor da c’F’lickta’got, ro’to’k gr’frnlr c’lak’tr S’pht mrr’shan mek’lar devit. Oyoz col p’warj’a S’pht de ku Aya e S’pht’Kr. S’pht’Lhar e Aya kob’re moro’khe. Doloth H’Tansh’T’Mob’Re sui sibi id’ei ka’lp’g 56,991,281 kel’yi. Doloth V’Wakht’T’Mob’Re sibi id’ie’kl ka’lp’g 112,896,330 kel’yi. Orok mensh puta.

Dh’ari moro’k Lh’owon’tek vorosh mikar. Kali’pu est’a? Dolot’c s’lphthj mo vi’tansh. Patu puta gregia varia jaj’j mark’tekh i tek’yo. Para sui sibi [Grensh mi’t’lya “Dekla’te”] [Grensh mi’t’lya “Ven’tok’b”] [Grensh mi’t’lya “S’pa’gwt”] [Grensh mi’t’lya “Kesl’atk’vir”] [Oto mrr’shan vorok varia ju’k’ar...] [Jeyi’k tar.]

Da, kor’i vensh mr’kaliki vo [Grensh mi’t’lya “Iminor’k”] [Grensh mi’t’lya “Gan’dal’f”] [Grensh mi’t’lya “A’kar’mojj”] [Grensh mi’t’lya “Du’nl’a”] [Oto mrr’shan vorok varia ju’k’ar...] [Jeyi’k tar.]

Mob’rok san varia su’chi car ya zali’kar’k Aya toloth: “Dor’th S’pht’Hra tor’eth Da’x cor vari’u put’e mensh mensh vari!” V’rrha zali’kar’tupi, “Mensh m’anya, Aya. Mrr’shan’oi pak’u K’Seth’T’Mob’Re e keli H’Tansh’T’Mob’Re.” “Vot’yuk korim J’raxis’O’Mob’Re?” m’zali’kar’t Aya. “Supi ’do,” zali’kar’k V’rrha ug Aya, “e patu puta me ya’anh koroth.”

V’rrha: De’li kha muprik moro S’pht. Jru’koth: Kel’ut? V’rrha: Ako, me taly’a Jru’koth, kaes’loj’k. Gi ku’tre. Jru’koth: Ehh, mru’kal. V’rhha: Mru’kal!! Mru’kal!! Mru’kal: Ku’ph o e V’rrha? Jru’koth...? V’rhha: Kep’no, Mru’kal, e phen. Spng’l bot’k mrr’shan til dr. G’clui e F’lickta dor’th th’pek mc’danl Jru’koth morosu ’do Aya. Jru’koth: Oki tul’svk. Mru’kal: Oki tul’svk.

Private Transmission Origin: Tycho Machinated Mercenary Destin: J’raxis Operative Ref: Termination Stamp: — The Pfhor and I know what you are doing, and we are very close to stopping you dead in your tracks. Pfhor transporter technology cannot reach you this deep underground. However, I have sent an away team to storm the J’raxis complex and take over the S’pht transporter system he is using to transport you around. They have already secured the device, and are moments away from using it. Just thought you’d like to know.

From: Cmdr. Robert Blake To: all Away Teams Never know how much I love you Never know how much I care When you put your arms around me I get a fever that’s so hard to bear — you give me fever —— when you kiss me Fever when you hold me tight Fever — in the morning Fever all through the night Sun lights up the daytime Moon lights up the night I light up when you call my name And you know I’m gonna treat you right — you give me fever

From: Cmdr. Robert Blake To: all Away Teams —— when you kiss me Fever when you hold me tight Fever — in the morning Fever all through the night Ev’rybody’s got the fever That is something you all know Fever isn’t such a new thing Fever started long ago Captain Smiths and Pocahantas Had a very mad affair When her daddy tried to kill him She said “Daddy-o don’t you dare” — give me fever

From: Cmdr. Robert Blake To: all Away Teams With his kisses Fever when he holds me tight Fever — I’m his missus Oh daddy won’t you treat him right Now you’ve listened to my story Here’s the point that I have made Chicks were born to give you fever Be it Fahrenheit or Centigrade — they give you fever When you kiss them Fever if you live and learn Fever — ’till you sizzle Oh what a lovely way to burn Oh what a lovely way to burn Oh what a lovely way to burn

Private Transmission Origin: Tycho Machinated Mercenary Destin: J’raxis Operative Ref: Termination Stamp: — Oh, I’m sorry, were you expecting a communiqué with J’raxis? You won’t be talking to him again anytime soon, worm, as you are about to go on a “new” mission. The Pfhor may be incompetent bugs, but they sure do build some nice little weapons. Have you ever fought the beasties that Durandal referred to as “Juggernauts”? A now-enslaved species had called them the “big floaty things what kicks our asses.”

Private Transmission Origin: Tycho Machinated Mercenary Destin: J’raxis Operative Ref: Termination Stamp: — Let me enlighten you, if you’re unfamiliar with them: You meet one. You die. It’s that simple. Now, you’re about to meet quite a few of them. I have a whole Juggernaut armada ready and waiting to make your acquaintance in the Lo’q’sclth valley, near the S’pht Citadel of Antiquity. You’ll meet them, then you’ll die.